Reaching Out

Experts caution hikers and campers to avoid making eye contact if confronted by a bear because bears perceive this as a threat. Even among humans, eye contact between strangers is a source of discomfort and anxiety. Just watch people's eyes as they move past one another in stores and on the street.

While this is understandable among total strangers in a public setting, I've never understood why there's so much of this avoidance of eye contact at church. Many of us act as if our baptismal covenant contains the following fine print: "I know we're all brothers and sisters, that we've agreed to bear one another's burdens, etc. etc., but when I'm at church, I'm only going to speak to those I already know. I will not make eye contact with or speak to those I don't."

Sound farfetched? Then consider this true story of a general authority as related by Elder M. Russell Ballard:

Elder Devere Harris of the First Quorum of the Seventy told me of a recent visit he made to a long-established ward in Utah. He said, "I entered there as a stranger and tried every way that I knew to strike up a conversation, or to say hello, or to be kind, or to be greeted, or to be known. Everyone ignored me; nobody would speak to me -- no one!"

"Finally, a man recognized me. He said, 'Oh, Elder Harris!' The bishop turned around and said, 'What did you say?' The brother said, 'This is Elder Harris of the First Quorum of the Seventy.'

"Well, things changed. It wasn't long before I was asked to sit on the stand; they wondered if i wouldn't like to bear my testimony. After the meeting, many people shook my hand. As I left, I thought, 'What a tragedy! A gray-haired man who was unknown walks into a meeting. Nobody recognizes him, nobody says hello, nobody is kind. Then, because of his Church position, everybody changes and wants to be friendly'" ("The Hand of Fellowship, Ensign, Nov. 1988).

I know from personal experience -- both as a giver and a receiver -- how much it can brighten the day of someone you don't know by making eye contact, reaching out, saying hello, and introducing yourself. [But please don't be like a certain man I know. He does all of these things, but only so he can launch into a discussion about himself.]

The streets of this world are full of people who eyes are either looking straight ahead or are cast down. I cannot visualize the same thing on celestial streets. Can you?